Living with Alzheimer’s 16 (a series)

The Past is the Present of the Future.. so don’t fight it!

For as long as I could remember, there were several occupations I DID NOT WANT to end up doing, and they were: TEACHER, NURSE, and ARTIST.

Ironically, I have worked as a TOUR GUIDE, which is actually “teaching”, in a way, because the goal is to have your guests learn something about the place they came to visit. I did it for 16 years.

Then since 2015, when my mom’s mental condition began to manifest itself, I have become her full-time caregiver. There have been hired help over the years, all short-lived for one reason or another, but the fact remains that I have become my mom’s constant companion today, and in effect, her nurse.

And finally, in this time of pandemic, my creative juices have begun to act up, spurring me to think up unique recipes for bread and pastries. For what purpose? Well, it seems everyone is going into baking, cooking and gardening. Maybe I’ll join the bandwagon.

So why am I suddenly writing about it? Well, for one thing, I have all the time in the world because when this all started in March, I suddenly found myself out of the job. Tourism was the first industry to lose its footing and, consequently became the industry to lose the most. The mental stress alone of not being able to feed one’s family would make an ordinary man go crazy.

Then there’s my mom’s constant search for answers, which she promptly forgets a second after. Her favorite question of late is “Where are we going?” followed by “Where is N?” and “Where is J?”. Of course, the name that first comes to her mind is mine, so the question is “Where is G?” even if I’m standing right next to her. To make light of the conversation, I shout out, “Present!” before she corrects herself and asks again. There are have been days when I could take it. I mean, my patience can go a very long way, SOMETIMES. But when it’s the same cycle, over and over and over and over again, throughout the day, seven days a week, four weeks in a month, for the last six months.. can make an ordinary man go crazy. There have been days when I would have willingly thrown in the towel and passed on the job to ANYONE! Then again, who can I pass it on to when we can’t even leave the house? When SHE can’t even leave the house because she’s a senior citizen who is highly vulnerable to catching airborne diseases like this deadly coronavirus? So this is my way of accepting with grace.

Well, I do have that other outlet now. I let it all out as I knead the dough! (Laugh!) One of the nieces asked me why I don’t make cookies. I’m into pizza, cinnamon rolls and cakes now. We’ll see.

Mama in November 2019

Author’s Note: If anyone reading this can relate to what I’m saying, then my decision to write it out is validated.

Published by Bukidlife

A journaler - someone who writes in a journal.

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